Loveology....

Loveology!??*

Confused

by Jennifer Wooters

Some days you seem so close
like you stand right before me
But then the next day you seem so far
like each other we can't see,
Each day is like a roller coaster
with my stomach turning upside down
You stand there looking
but yet you don't utter a sound,
I feel so confused and
my heart is being torn at its seams
And every night that I sleep
you seem to linger in my dreams,
Every time I look at you
I forget all my thoughts
And right then and there
it's you that my heart has sought,
Every time I hope
it turns into something bad
So for right now I'll stop thinking
And maybe things won't end up sad.

Oh god! i have to meet crack pots everyday at least once to provoke me and get me agitated when am actually trying to reduce my anger! as i was writing this article a stupid guy who was painting the ground floor of my building switched off the electricity main! darn! i was writing with this beautiful string of thoughts all lined up neatly and was just concluding when Buff! the computer got switched off and this article didn't get saved too! fine...anyways...calm down Deepthi! ...i will write it all over again...from the very beginning of mankind! so this is how it went......

God! I really don't understand how you lovers out there especially students manage studies, work, boyfriends and girlfriends, breakups, heartbreaks, and also get good marks in academics...congrats to those who do! but what about those who roam round like devdas hoping to get back their love...there is this whole chunk of them...

I don't understand why one should go through so much of ordeal of losing someone...why get someone who wasn't meant for you in the first place! why not listen , when everyone who love you tell that the person is not meant for you..not the right guy for you, with a reason...all hate him / her...you agree with them...you know you wont be happy with him / her...but u still cant take your mind off him/her...you keep asking questions to yourself...why was he like this..and wishing..." wish he wasn't like this, wish all liked him, wish he understood me the why i am trying to understand and adjust to his likes and dislikes, wish he hadn't unnecessarily hit me, wish he hadn't suspected me, wish he hadn't tried to get back into my life and leave me confused...wish this....wish that......wish...............wish.............. aaaaahh! I JUST HATE HIM! " But a second later your heart is beating out his name rather that lub-dub! Or there is the other type of ppl who stress themselves out without any reason..." look at him! why cant he see me...see how much i love them! i just hate his girlfriend! she is so sick! he is adjusting to her so much but cant see me trying to adjust myself for him! she doesn't deserve him! aaaahh! I JUST HATE HIM! .... but again..your heart beats faster for him than to pump out blood for yourself...the endings are the same! I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!


I just don't understand why people cant understand that everything is over after the break up..how can one justify saying that we are just friends now and cheat themselves...as if those old thoughts wont bug them when they are with each other...when one couldn't make a good lover which needs so much of understanding to get to that level become a nice friend!? why cant one understand that it was just a mirage in a barren desert when you can actually leave that behind and try finding a meadow with fragrance and true love! Why cant they actually shoo off the past and enjoy the present! When i ask my friends about this they start of saying...Deepthi! you wont understand! and try to explain me that 'divine' feeling but in the end only leave me doubly confused and newer questions arising in my mind...

Anyway..its not that i haven't felt the ' divine ' feeling...it is quite but natural that one does...but i have accepted that it was stupidity to continue this since it was not to come true...so..since i haven't experienced the true love...i feel all this is so stressful...there is already enough stress in life for one to add this one voluntarily and suffer...there is slang saying in Tamil " saniyanai thuki baniyanle podardhu "...! ( which means the same as shoving mud on your own head! ) ... i might understand why people do that if i fall in love which seems such a bleak happening in the near future...hmmm...

Anyway..this is not a burning topic that i should trouble my already tiny brain with...so..happy loving and crying all you guys out there...as for me..its not my cup of tea! Am at peace now!.......................................................................

* anyway the views aired in this article are my personal opinion..am not here to prove anyone wrong or hurt their belief in love!